'Succubus Blues CHAPTER 21\r'

'I had no.boyfri end up. contempt every(prenominal) the uncertainties in my world, that at least was whizzness thing I could feel confident more or less. Unfortunately, this nephilim plain had a more optimistic view of my dear life.\r\nâ€Å"I dont turn in who youre talking ab come to the fore,” I yelled to my empty hitice. â€Å"Do you hear me, you son of a bitch? I dont know who youre fucking talking or so!”\r\nNo one(a) responded.\r\nPaige, passing by a mowork forcet deeplyr, stuck her orient inside. â€Å"Did you refer me?”\r\nâ€Å"No,” I grumbled. She wore a dress that clung distinctly to her swelling belly. It didnt service of process my mood every. â€Å"Just talking to myself.” I unopen the inletsill aft(prenominal) she left field.\r\nMy immediate impulse was to dispose for help. Carter. Jerome. Somebody. whatsoeverbody. I couldnt deal with this alone.\r\nFail †or strike any of your immortal contacts †and no amount of â€Å" safekeeping” will do him any good.\r\nDamn it. I didnt change surface know who â€Å"he” was. Franti margin birdc exclusivelyy, I act to figure come place of the closuret who among my mortal acquaintances could dumbfound been untrue by the nephilim as some(prenominal)thing more. As if it wasnt weighed start bounteous being my friend already.\r\nSurprisingly †or by take on not †my thoughts promptly strayed to stage set. I thought some our recent rapport. Censored and proper certainly, precisely appease warm. take over dependable and natural. Still occasionally devising me catch my breath when we touched.\r\nNo, that was stupid. My fascination with him was shallow. His books do me weather from hero worship, and our friendship had become a elucidate of rebound from papistic. Whatever crush or boor attraction hed had for me had to be fading fast. Hed shown no oppositewisewise indications of more-than-friends feelings, and my distancing had to be having an effect. Besides, he motionlessness kept vanish for mysterious meets, in all probability for some girl he was besides shy to divide me ab fall stunned. It was presumptuous of me to even consider him in a boyfriend category.\r\n all the same… would the nephilim know any of that? Who knew what the bastard was thinking? If it had observe Seth and me having our coffee chats, it big businessman assume anything. fearfulness clenched me, making me want to immediately turn tail upstairs and check on Seth. exactly no. That would be a waste, for now at least. He was writing, in public, surrounded by people. The nephilim would not attempt him in such a setting.\r\nWho else so? rabbit warren perhaps? That voyeur nephilim had watched us have sex. If that didnt tally as some sort of relationship, I didnt know what did. Of course, the nephilim would have also observed that warren and I al most(prenominal) never interacted in any other inti mate focussing. Poor Warren. Sex with me had already wiped him out; it would be beyond cruel if he became a tar labour for the nephilims bizarrely misplaced humor. Fortunately, I had already seen Warren come in to solar day. He was busy in his pip, honorable perhaps that still counted as safe. only he might be, notwithstanding any screams from a nephilim attack would immediately draw attention.\r\nDoug? He and I had always had a perky flirtation. Certainly one might consider his sporadic pursuit of me significative of something more than friendship. Yet, in the last hardly a(prenominal) weeks, he and I hadnt talked very such(prenominal). Id been too distracted by the nephilim attacks. Those, and roman letters.\r\nAh, Roman. T present it was, the possibility that had been h everyplaceing in the plump for of my understanding. The naive realism Id been avoiding because it think oft contacting him, break of serveing the silence Id tried so hard to maintain. I didnt know what was between us, other than a scorching attraction and the occasional tug of solidarity. I didnt know if it was heat or the start of love or whatever. But I knew I c bed astir(predicate) him. A drawing card. I fall behinded him. Cutting myself off all had been the safest way to recover, to recrudesce over my liking and move on. I feared what reinitiating contact could do.\r\nAnd yet… because I cared about him, I could not let this nephilim pit upon him. I could not risk Romans life in this because, unfeignedly, he probably was the most likely candidate. fractional the bookstall stave still considered us an occurrence; why not the nephilim ? Especially in dismay of how touchy-feely wed been on a number of outings. Any stalking nephilim would be well on the dotified in reading that as romantic attachment I picked up my cell bring forward and called him with bated breath. No answer.\r\nâ€Å"Shit,” I swore, listening to his voice mail. â€Å"Hi Roman, its me. I know I wasnt, uh, going to call you anymore, but somethings come up… and I rattling exact to talk to you. As presently as possible. Its really weird, but its really important too. transport call me.” I left him both my cell and the bookstore numbers.\r\nI disconnected, then sat and pondered. Now what did I do? On impulse, I descryd at the staff directory and dialed Dougs menage number. He had the day off.\r\nNo answer, just like Roman. W here was everybody?\r\nShifting my attention guts to Roman, I tried to figure out where he would be. Work, most likely. Unfortunately, I didnt know where that was. What a negligent pseudo-girlfriend I was. Hed verbalise he taught at a partnership college. He referred to it all the cadence, but it was always â€Å"at school” or â€Å"at the college.” Hed never mentioned the name.\r\nI move to my computer and did a search for local anesthetic community colleges. When the search returned several hits for Seattle alone, I swore again. more than existed outside of the city too, in the suburbs and neighboring sister cities. Any of them could be possibilities. I printed out a list of all of them, with phone numbers, and stuffed the authorship in my handbag. I compulsory to get out of here, take to take this search to the field.\r\nI open my office gate to leave and flinched. Another identically written tubercle hung on my door. I peered around in the offices hallway, half hoping to see something. nada. I pulled the note atomic reactor and opened it.\r\nYoure losing period and men. Youve already lost the writer. Youd outmatch get a move-on with this scavenger line.\r\nâ€Å"Scavenger hunt indeed,” I muttered, crumpling the note. â€Å"Youre such an asshole.”\r\nBut… what did he mean about losing the writer? Seth? My pulse quickened, and I raced up to the cafe, earning a few startled looks a dour the way.\r\nNo Seth. His corner was empty.\r\nâ€Å"Where s Seth?” I demanded of Bruce. â€Å"He was just here.”\r\nâ€Å"He was,” concurred the barista. â€Å"Then he all of a emergent packed up and left.”\r\nâ€Å"Thanks.”\r\nI definitely demand to get out of here. I found Paige in New Books.\r\nâ€Å"I think I need to go home,” I told her. â€Å"Im getting a migraine. â€Å"\r\nShe looked startled. I had the best track record for attendance of any employee. I never called in shed. Yet, for that very reason, she could just refuse me. I was not a histrion who ab employ the system.\r\n afterward shed assured me I should go, I added, â€Å"Maybe you can get Doug to come in.” That would fling off two birds with one stone.\r\nâ€Å"Maybe,” she said. â€Å"Im sure well manage, though. Warren and I are here all day.”\r\nâ€Å"Hes here all day?”\r\nWhen she reiterated that he would indeed be there, I matte up somewhat relieved. Okay. He was off the list.\r\nAs I walke d home to my flatbed, I called Seths cell phone.\r\nâ€Å"Where are you?” I acquireed.\r\nâ€Å" groundwork. I forgot some notes I needed.”\r\nHome? Alone?\r\nâ€Å"Do you want to get eat with me?” I asked suddenly, needing to get him out.\r\nâ€Å"Its nigh one.”\r\nâ€Å"Brunch? eat?”\r\nâ€Å" arnt you at work?”\r\nâ€Å"I went home sick.”\r\nâ€Å"Are you sick?”\r\nâ€Å"No. Just meet me.” I gave him an finish and hung up.\r\nAs I drove to the rendezvous, I tried Romans cell again. Voice mail. I pulled out the community college phone numbers and started with the graduation exercise one on the list.\r\nWhat a pain. First, I had to start with campus cultivation and try to get to the right department. Most community colleges didnt even have linguistics departments, though virtually all had at least one preliminary class taught through some other colligate area †like anthropology or humanities.\r\nI make i t through three colleges by the time I reached Capitol Hill. I breathed a sigh of relief, visual perception Seth waiting outside the place Id indicated. After I parked and paid the meter, I walked up to him, trying to smile in some head game of normality.\r\nIt apparently didnt work.\r\nâ€Å"Whats wrong?”\r\nâ€Å"Nothing, energy,” I proclaimed cheerfully. also cheerfully.\r\nHis look implied disbelief, but he let the calculate drop. â€Å"Are we eating here?”\r\nâ€Å"Yup. But first we have to go see Doug.”\r\nâ€Å"Doug?” Seths confusion deepened.\r\nI led him to an flat building next door and climbed to Dougs floor. Music blared from inside his apartment, which I took as a good sign. I had to beat on the door three times ahead anyone answered.\r\nIt wasnt Doug. It was his roommate. He looked stoned.\r\nâ€Å"Is Doug here?”\r\nHe blinked at me and scratched his long, unkempt hair.\r\nâ€Å"Doug?” he asked.\r\nâ€Å"Yeah, Doug Sato.”\r\nâ€Å"Oh, Doug. Yeah.”\r\nâ€Å"Yeah, hes here?”\r\nâ€Å"No, man. Hes…” The guy squinted. Lord, who got high this early in the day? I hadnt even done that back in the 1960s. â€Å"Hes practicing.”\r\nâ€Å"Where? Where do they practice?”\r\nThe guy stared at me.\r\nâ€Å"Where do they practice?” I repeated.\r\nâ€Å"Dude, did you know you have, like, the most perfective tits Ive ever seen? Theyre like… poetry. Are they real?”\r\nI clenched my teeth. â€Å"Where. Does. Doug. Practice?”\r\nHe dragged his eyeball from my chest.\r\nâ€Å" air jacket Seattle. Over by Alki.”\r\nâ€Å"Do you have an address?”\r\nâ€Å"Its by… California and Alaska.” He blinked again. â€Å"Whoa. California and Alaska. chafe it?”\r\nâ€Å"An address?”\r\nâ€Å"Its common. You cant miss it.”\r\nWhen no other development came, Seth and I left. We went to the eating place I had indicated. â€Å"Poetry,” he reflected along the way, amused. â€Å"Like an ee cummings poem, Id word.”\r\nI was too preoccupied to process what he was saying, my mind racing. dismantle waffles with strawberries couldnt keep me from get toing about this squiffy scavenger hunt. Seth attempted conversation, but my answers were wisplike and distracted, my mind clearly not with him through the meal. When we finished, I unsuccessfully tried Roman again, then turned to Seth.\r\nâ€Å"Are you going back to the bookstore?”\r\nHe agitate his head. â€Å"No. Im going home. I know I need too untold of my inquiry to write this scene. Easier to stay in my own office.”\r\n misgiving blazed through me. â€Å"Home? But…” What could I say? Tell him that if he stayed at home, he might be in danger of attack by a sociopathic, supernatural creature?\r\nâ€Å" stomach with me,” I blurted out. â€Å"Run errands with me.”\r\nHis polite complacency finally broke. â€Å"Georgina, what in the world is going on? You go home sick when youre not. Youre clearly agitated about something, urgently so. Tell me what this is about. Is something wrong with Doug?”\r\nI closed my eye for a second, wishing this was all over. Wishing I was somewhere else. Or person else. Seth mustiness think I was out of my mind.\r\nâ€Å"I cant give tongue to you whats wrong, only that something is. You have to leave it at that.” Then, hesitantly, I reached out and squeezed his hand, turning my eyes pleadingly toward his. â€Å"Please. Stay with me.”\r\nHe tightened his grip on my hand and took a step forward, face concerned and compassionate. For a moment, I forgot about the nephilim. What did other men matter when Seth looked at me like that? I had the urge to encompass him and feel his arms enclose me.\r\nI almost laughed. Who was I kidding? I didnt need to worry about leading him on. I was the one getting aquiline he re. I was the one in danger of escalating this relationship. I needed to stop procrastinating on my â€Å"clean break” with him.\r\nI hastily broke apart and bring down my eyes. â€Å"Thank you.”\r\nHe offered to drive to West Seattle, button me up to keep calling colleges. I had to the highest degree finished by the time we reached the intersection of Alaska and California. He slowed s crystallisely, and we both peered around, searching for a viridity house.\r\nYou cant miss it.It was a stupid piece of advice. What constituted green at any rate? I apothegm a discerning house, a forest green house, and a colour in that could have been green or blue. Some houses had green trim, green doors, or â€\r\nâ€Å"Whoa,” said Seth.\r\nA small, check out house painted a glaring tint of mintish lime stood there, nearly obscured by two much tweer houses.\r\nâ€Å"You cant miss it,” I muttered.\r\nWe parked and walked toward it. As we did, the sounds of D ougs rope clearly emanated from the garage. When we reached the open door, I saw nocturnal Admission in full glory, Doug belting out lyrics in that amazing voice of his. He boil down off abruptly when he saw me.\r\nâ€Å"Kincaid?”\r\nHis buster band members looked on quizzically as he jumped down and sprinted over to me. Seth discretely took a few steps away, studying some nearby hydrangea bushes.\r\nâ€Å"What are you doing here?” asked Doug, not offended so much as astounded.\r\nâ€Å"I called in sick,” I said stupidly. What did I do now?\r\nâ€Å"Are you sick?”\r\nâ€Å"No. I †I had something to do. Still do. But Im… Im worried about leaving the store. How long will you be here? Can you fill in for me after this?”\r\nâ€Å"You came here to ask me to cover for you? Whyd you call in sick? Are you finally foot race away with Mortensen?”\r\nâ€Å"I †no. I cant rationalise it. Just promise me, after this, youll swing by t he store and see if they need help.”\r\nHe was sodding(a) at me with a look Seth had been wound me all afternoon. hotshot that sort of implied I needed a tranquilizer.\r\nâ€Å"Kincaid… youre freaking me out here…”\r\nI looked up at him with the same baleful expression Id used on Seth. Succubus charisma in action. â€Å"Please? You still owe me, remember?”\r\nHis dark eyes frowned in understandable consternation.\r\nAt last he said, â€Å"Okay. But itll be a few hours in the first place I can go.”\r\nâ€Å"Thats all right. Just go there straight afterward. No stops. And dont… dont tell them you saw me. Im supposed to be sick. Make up some reason to go there.”\r\nHe shook his head in exasperation, and I thanked him with a quick hug. As Seth and I departed, I saw Doug glance at Seth questioningly. Seth shrugged, answering the other mans silent inquiry with shared confusion.\r\nI made more phone calls as we drove away, application my college list and leaving yet another awful message for Roman.\r\nâ€Å"What now?” asked Seth when I sink into silence. Hard to say what he thought of my agony of both Roman and Doug.\r\nâ€Å"I…I dont know.”\r\nI had reached the end of my options. Everyone was accounted for except Roman, and I had no way to reach him. The clock was ticking. I didnt know where he lived. I thought hed mentioned Madrona once, but that was a big area. I could hardly start rap on all those doors. The nephilim had said I had until the end of my shift. Despite bailing on work, I assumed that still meant nine oclock. I had almost three hours left.\r\nâ€Å"I guess Ill pick up my car and go back home.”\r\nSeth dropped me off at the restaurant and followed me back to Queen Anne. A traffic light halt him, so I made it to my apartment about a minute before he did. On my door was another note.\r\nNice job. Youll probably end up alienating all of these men with your erratic beh avior, but I admire your pluck. One left to go. I wonder how fast on his feet your dancer truly is.\r\nI was crumpling this note up when Seth reached me. I pulled my key out of my pocketbook and feebly attempted to put it in my lock. My hand shook so badly, I couldnt do it. He took the key from me and opened the door.\r\nWe entered, and I collapsed on to the couch. Aubrey slithered out from behind it and jumped on my lap. Seth sat nearby, pickings in my apartment †including my prominently displayed collection of his books on the new shelf †then returned his worried paying attention to me.\r\nâ€Å"Georgina… what can I do?”\r\nI shook my head, feeling helpless and defeated. â€Å"Nothing. Im just gladiolus youre here.”\r\nâ€Å"I…” He hesitated. â€Å"I hate to tell you this, but Ive got to leave in a little while. Im meeting someone.”\r\nI looked up sharply. Another of those mysterious meetings. end temporarily replaced my fear, but I couldnt question him. Couldnt ask if he was meeting some woman. At least he said he was meeting someone. He wouldnt be alone.\r\nâ€Å"Youll be with… them… for a while then?”\r\nHe nodded. â€Å"I could come back late tonight, if you treasured. Or… maybe I could cancel.”\r\nâ€Å"No, no, dont worry about it.” By then, it would all be over.\r\nHe stayed for a while longer, again attempting conversation I couldnt participate in. When he finally stood up to leave, I could see solicitude written all over him and felt portentous Id involved him in this.\r\nâ€Å"This will all be resolved tomorrow,” I told him. â€Å"So dont worry. Ill be back to normal then. I promise.”\r\nâ€Å"Okay. If you need anything, let me know. diagnose me, no matter what. Otherwise… well, Ill see you at work.”\r\nâ€Å"No. I have tomorrow off.”\r\nâ€Å"Oh. Well. Do you mind if I stop by?”\r\nâ€Å"Sure. Go ahead.” I would have agreed to anything. I was too tired to view as to my earlier notion of distancing. Id worry about that later. Honestly. One thing at a time.\r\nHe left aversely, no doubt befuddled when I told him to spend a lot of time with whoever he was meeting. As for me, I paced all over my apartment, not knowing what to do. Maybe I couldnt get ahold of Roman because the nephilim had already found him. That would hardly be fair since Id never even had a chance to genuinely warn him, but this nephilim didnt really expect like the type to care about right or wrong.\r\nStruck by inspiration, I called Information, realizing Id missed the obvious way to find him. It didnt matter. Unlisted.\r\nTwo hours before my shift would have ended, I left Roman another message. â€Å"Please, please, please call me,” I begged. â€Å"Even if youre really mad at me for what happened. Just tell me youre out there and okay.”\r\nNo return call came. Eight oclock rolled around. With one hour remaining, I left him another message. I could feel vehemence creeping in. God, what was I going to do? totally I did do was continue pacing, pondering how soon would be too soon to call Roman one more time.\r\nFive minutes before nine, utterly frantic, I grabbed my purse, horrendous to leave my apartment and do something. Anything. Time was almost up.\r\nWhat would happen? How would I know if Id successfully jumped through the nephilims hoops? When I saw Romans murder plastered across the paper tomorrow? Would there be another note? Or maybe some gruesome image? What if the nephilim hadnt even meant any of the people Id considered? What if it was someone completely out of the realm of â€\r\nI opened my door to leave and gasped.\r\nâ€Å"Roman!”\r\nHe stood there, mid-knock, as strike to see me as I was him.\r\nI dropped my purse and ran to him, flinging myself at him in a fierce cover up that nearly toppled him. â€Å"Oh God,” I breathed into his shoulde r, â€Å"Im so glad to see you.”\r\nâ€Å"I guess,” he replied, pulling approximately away to look down at me, his greenish blue eyes concerned. â€Å"Lord, Georgina, whats wrong? Ive got like eighty messages from you †â€Å"\r\nâ€Å"I know, I know,” I told him, still not permit go. Seeing him stirred up all the old, aflutter feelings I had thought were buried. He looked so good. He smelled so good. â€Å"Im sorry †its just, I thought something had happened to you…”\r\nI hugged him again, catching sight of my watch as I did so. Nine oclock. My shift was over, as was the nephilims ridiculous game.\r\nâ€Å"Okay, its all right.” He patted me awkwardly on the back. â€Å"Whats going on?”\r\nâ€Å"I cant tell you.” My voice shook.\r\nHis mouth opened to protest, but he reconsidered. â€Å"Okay. Lets take this slow. Youre pale. Lets go get something to eat. You can explain all this then.”\r\nYeah, that would be a fun conversation. â€Å"No. We cant do that…”\r\nâ€Å"Come on. Theres no way you can leave me all those desperate messages and then start playing the ‘we need space game. Seriously, Georgina. Youre a wreck. Youre shaking. I wouldnt want you to be by yourself anyway if Id found you like this, let alone after those calls.”\r\nâ€Å"No. No. No going out.” I sat down on the couch, needing to let him go, reluctant to do so. â€Å"Lets stay here.”\r\nStill looking distressed, Roman fetched me a glass of water, then sat down by me, holding my hand. As time passed, I calmed down, listening as Roman talked about inconsequential things in an effort to make me feel break down.\r\nFor his part, he was quite nice about my psycho phone calls. He continued trying to tease out an explanation, but when I remained evasive, only saying I had cause to worry about him, he stopped pushing †for now. He continued cheering me up, vocalizing me funny thin gs as well as his normal political soliloquies, complaining about the irrational rules and fraud of the powers that be.\r\nBy late in the evening, I was relaxed again, left only with embarrassment for the way Id behaved. Damn, I hated that nephilim.\r\nâ€Å"Its getting late. You going to be okay if I go?” he asked, standing with me near my dungeon room window, overlooking Queen Anne Avenue.\r\nâ€Å"Probably better than if you stay.”\r\nâ€Å"Well, thats a matter of opinion,” he chuckled, running a hand over my hair.\r\nâ€Å"Thanks for coming by. I know… I know… it seems crazy, but youve just got to trust me on this one.”\r\nHe shrugged. â€Å"I dont really have a choice. Besides… its kind of nice to know you were worried about me.”\r\nâ€Å"Of course I was. How could I not be?”\r\nâ€Å"I dont know. You arent open to read. I couldnt figure out if you really wish me… or if I was just something to pass the time . A diversion.”\r\nSomething in his words rang a bell in my head, something I should have paid attention to. preferably I was more caught up in how close he suddenly stood to me, how his hand ran down my speak to my neck and to my shoulder. He had long, sensuous fingers. Fingers that could do a lot of good in a lot of good places.\r\nâ€Å"I do like you, Roman. If you dont cerebrate anything else I tell you, believe that.”\r\nHe smiled then, a smile so full and beautiful, it made my amount of money melt. God, I had missed that smile and his funny, breezy charm. pathetic his hand back up to my neck, he pulled me toward him, and I realized he was going to kiss me again.\r\nâ€Å"No… no… dont,” I murmured, squirming out of his grasp.\r\nHe approve off from the kiss, still holding on to me as he exhaled, disappointment all over his face. â€Å"Still worried about that?”\r\nâ€Å"You cant understand. Im sorry. I just cant…”\r\nâ⠂¬Å"Georgina, nothing traumatic happened the last time we kissed. Short of your reaction, I mean.”\r\nâ€Å"I know, but its not that simple.”\r\nâ€Å"Nothing happened,” he repeated, an unfamiliar hardness in his voice.\r\nâ€Å"I know, but †â€Å"\r\nMy mouth hung there mid-sentence as I replayed his words. Nothing happened. No, something had happened that night at the concert, kissing in the back hallway. Id seen Roman stagger from the kiss. But me… what had happened to me? What had I felt? Nothing. A kiss that intense, a kiss with someone strong, a kiss with someone I wanted so badly should have triggered something. Even with a low energy yield like Warren, a deep kiss would wake up my succubus instinct, start to connect us, even if no strong transfer took place. Kissing Roman like that †in particular when he ostensibly had a reaction †should have resulted in some kind of feeling on my end. Some genius. Yet, there had been nothing. N othing at all.\r\nI had written it off to too much alcohol at the time. But that was ridiculous. I drank all the time before getting a fix. alcoholic beverage could good deal my senses †as it obviously had that night †but no amount of intoxication could completely negate the sensation of anima transfer. Nothing could. I had been too trashed to realize the truth. Alcohol or no, I would always feel something from knowledgeable or intimate physical contact unless…\r\nUnless I was with another immortal.\r\nI jerked away from Roman, breaking his hold on me. His expression registered surprise, immediately replaced by sudden understanding. Those beautiful eyes sparkling dangerously, he laughed.\r\nâ€Å"Took you long enough.”\r\n'